An Awakening

Part 2

To Gift a World

My Mindless Misfortune

"Hard on myself" is an apt description at times, and a trait that often overrides my intent and destroys the outcome. Such was the case during that first visit to Boston. I was focused on the couple hosting me, prerace and postrace logistics, and prepping for the run itself, which I overdid. But my disgust, in hindsight, was over not having found time to visit the music school to ask about Loren, which had been linked to the event from the start and had even been an incentive to qualify for it. Hynes Center, home to the race hub and expo, is just two blocks from the Berklee College of Music. At that time, I couldn't possibly foresee who she would eventually become, but had I seen any of those first uploads to YouTube, I would have surely been compelled to at least leave a message for her, sharing the story to that point, and expressing sorrow for not being able to meet. I would have loved seeing the school itself, and meeting some of her classmates. During that brief time at Berklee, she uploaded covers of Mariah Carey, Adele, and Alicia Keys, with her classmate Kris Collins on piano. Mariah had been her idol since childhood, and her "Vision of Love" was the first cover uploaded, so I will link that one below. We're treated to the earliest displays of her low notes, runs, belting (of course), and the ending that surely caught the industry's attention. Regardless of which upload is preferred, each was such a talent reveal at that young age. I still wonder...What if this version of her had appeared on "The Voice" a couple of years later, instead of the girl beaten down by the industry at that point?

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I felt it was important to return to this time in her life before things began to go awry! It was wonderful to see her sing in such a joyful and relaxed manner...minus the pressure of being on stage. Listening to this cover, one can easily understand why the uploads were quickly noticed. The only downside is that it reminds me of what I didn't do that first time in Boston! But let's now move our focus to Brooklyn, where she was charting a new course for herself, still filled with uncertainties, but viewing the future with a fresh perspective.

A New Beginning

Loren may have given up the spotlight as a recording artist, but I'm certain she never had the slightest thought of giving up singing. It's hard to imagine a talent this immense working as a waitress, barista, or bartender, but it's true for thousands of artists, and it may have been a blessing in disguise for Loren. Regardless of how she might have viewed herself at this point, it would seem she was now one of those many I spoke of in the introduction, the ones who decide to settle for less to continue doing what they love. I would guess that she approached being a barista with the same zeal and determination that she brought to singing. That mindset is part of what makes her who she is and largely accounts for where she is today. Life can be such a roll of the dice, and I have to wonder, "What if"? What if her label had released her album, and it had earned acclaim? What if she had won "The Voice"? Maybe she would've found success as a recording artist, but think of what we wouldn't have today if that had been the case. I seriously doubt that an industry-developed version of her would have been anything close to who she has become on her own! I have to believe that her extraordinary expressiveness is partly owing to all the experiences and hardships along the way, and not just a product of practicing in front of a mirror. There is a realness to it, and when it's combined with her vocal abilities, it can convey a story in a way that few others can.

The two years that followed her departure from the industry began calmly enough, but they would soon spiral into a convergence of connections, opportunities, and decisions. She resumed uploading clips and singing at weddings, but replaced the stage and spotlight with studio sessions. There were new connections and previous ones that evolved, but I simply don't have enough trustworthy resources to offer the who, when, and how within the timeline. She resumed singing with a wedding band, but its members are unknown to me. Michel Heyaca, an integral part of Loren's early work, graduated from the Berklee College of Music the same year that Loren first attended, but I don't know if they met there or later in New York. Zak Resnick was a cast member of Broadway's "Mamma Mia" and worked at a restaurant, as did Loren, but I don't know the details of how their friendship began. Thus, in summary, by balancing her music projects with support-related jobs, she shared a path that many other performers traveled. This network of friendships and connections to persons and projects within the area's entertainment community led to collaborations that included studio sessions and demos for upcoming musical stage productions. One such collaboration was with Jonathan Gealt, as seen in the link below. Gealt had several artists sing each of several songs that would appear on his upcoming album. Although it was Loren's impressive version of "Moving On" that was used for the album, I chose her performance of "No Reason at All" simply because I like how she delivered the song, sounding as if there was a true emotional connection to the lyrics, and again giving me a sense of what was to come from her in the future.

May 2013

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Embedded

I spoke earlier of the convergence of connections, projects, and events. 2013 began such a run of events that it's difficult for those of us on the outside to know the exact dates and order of occurrence. One such event that will no doubt forever remain in Loren's mind was a friend introducing her to the little-known songwriting duo Benj Pasek and Justin Paul. She was hired to record a demo for the upcoming movie, "Pitch Perfect 3," well in advance of filming. Apparently, their submission was not chosen, as no mention appears on the soundtrack. One of Loren's other projects was a duet cover of "Say Something" with her friend Zak Resnick. I've listened multiple times to the original solo, the duet with Christina Aguilera, Christina's solo, and Alex & Sierra from the "X Factor." As polished production pieces, each one is a great listen and visual treat. The one most comparable here would be Alex & Sierra, but I'm not here to compare, and it wouldn't matter if I were, since we all see and hear things differently. I will, however, point to the contrast in format, given that here we're seeing and hearing two unadorned performers, a microphone, a single front-facing camera, a blank backdrop, and far less post-production work. In other words, we're hearing the vocals in a pure form, laced with what is seen and felt as raw emotion during this performance of a song that is powerfully emotional to begin with. Opinions exist to vary, and yours may differ widely from the ones I will offer, so have a listen for yourself, and then I'll share my thoughts.

circa 2014

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2015 / 2016

"Say Something" is one of those songs that gets inside your head, regardless of who is performing it, so hats off to Ian Axel and Chad King, alongside Mike Campbell, for creating it. Ian and Mike were both going through breakups at the time, and those feelings and emotions were channeled beautifully. The above heading, "Embedded," aptly describes the impact of this performance on me, I replayed it several times initially, and hundreds since. Even the crying crescendo was harmonized beautifully, and I found Loren's expressiveness, from stoic to anguished, captivating to watch.

Zak Resnick is a stage actor/singer who's voice was more than adequate for this song, and Loren just seems more accomplished each time out. The solemn mood and the sense of despair was almost palpable. The blended harmony, the timing, and the emphatic pauses gave it such a personal feel, different from the more offset harmony and legado heard in other versions. More notably, it rose to a higher peak than any previous version, with an anguished tandem cry to enhance it . Adding to the sense of realism was the unpolished format with the dressed down attire and lack of makeup, and just the one close-up lens capturing the emotions. But nothing compares to the authenticity in each of their cries. Those cries...especially Loren's! If this were a BDTR moment you would have to break that crying riff into eight or nine "cry notes"...spread between an utterance, a stifle, and a burst of anguish. Note that the emotion begins to appear on her face a couple of seconds before the cry actually begins, just adding to the authenticity. I don't exaggerate when I say their performance of this song embedded itself in my mind, where it surfaces anytime I think of this song.

A Beautiful Cover With a Message.

Natalie Weiss is an accomplished singer and vocal coach. She has appeared on several of the same soundtracks as Loren did and collaborated with the same notable songwriters. Natalie gave life to the term "BDTR" with her "Breaking Down the Riffs" series on YouTube. Needless to say, as both friends and colleagues, there is great mutual respect, and their joining of forces created something special with this duet cover of Jojo's "I Am." It was recorded at Candy Studio in Manhattan, at a time when both artists had met and worked with Benj Pasek and Justin Paul on multiple projects. More importantly, both had been hired for the ensemble for "The Greatest Showman," upon which Loren was then hired to sing the reference tracks, or "demos", for the female cast members. At this point, spring of 2017, the film was essentially completed. All of the backstory regarding this movie project was completely unknown to me at the time. I was simply witnessing Loren combine her rich tone and resonance through her entire range, with Natalie's beautiful control and piercing high notes, accompanied by Jaz Sealy's nice guitar work and all those beautiful faces. Together, they delivered a powerful and impressive version of this song. I would think they were both feeling good about where their talent had led them at this point, and I can't imagine anyone disliking what they're hearing in this performance.

Into the Storm

2015 was a bittersweet year for me. I lost my father, but not before giving him a special gift on his 100th birthday, something I'd dreamed of for years. I wish he could've stayed a bit longer because he would've loved this story.

One thing I found true of star performers is that, despite having an off night, they're still equal to, or better than, everyone else in the game. This performance of "Caught in the Storm" was at the SubCulture music venue, beneath the street, in the NoHo neighborhood of New York City. I don't know if it was live, before an audience, or just Loren and Justin Paul rehearsing. The song, by Pasek and Paul, was a surprise acceptance for the 2nd season of the TV series "Smash" and was, I believe, performed by Katharine McPhee in the series. There were mentions that Loren might have been a bit under the weather here, but all the qualities that distinguish her voice are still present. Hearing others perform it, I'm always reminded of what Loren brings along to accompany the higher notes. The vibrato and tone, the richness and fullness throughout the range, they're all still present, even if she wasn't feeling well on this occasion.

The heading above refers to the storm of events that were enveloping her at this time, not to the performance of this song. Her first collaboration with Pasek and Paul for "Pitch Perfect 3" had been followed by work for the stage musical, "Dear Evan Hansen", and session work for the film "La La Land." But their next collaboration, which also began forming circa 2014 or 2015, would prove to be one that would shape her career and ultimately affect her life in ways unimaginable at the time. For now, let's just enjoy this step along the way.